PARTYING, A FUNDAMENTAL OF LIFE

Owambe Indeed! such a nice name for the way we do out thing. We are known for a grand-style of partying, our party system and its publicity is unique in this part of our world as compared to the western world. Partying for us serves as a medium for family and friend’s reunion, a time to show off our worth, taste, standards, retaliate in competitive aggrievement and in some cases as a result of necessity or unavoidable circumstances.
 
Self worth, self esteem, respect, self actualization and societal acceptance are values we consider extremely imperative which actually should be as our value system and culture commands respect. We admire and value our cultures and firmly hold strong to them despite the high rate of diminishing cultural values. Regardless of differences in cultural values, tribes, personalities and kindreds, people still keep in touch with theirs even though the cultural practises and beliefs vary. Our cultural values are so beautiful and unique in their own sense putting the right ideas into them, embracing them with the right sense and state of mind and setting them in perspective by putting our pedigree in focus with the goal of sustaining our beautiful cultural heritage.

It is no gainsay that religion has overshadowed, disapproved and criticized some aspect of our culture and are never in-tune with most of the cultural beliefs. The impact of technology has also done harm to some of our cultural credence and all seems to be dwindling away quicker than expected. The generation that knows the true worth, values and underlining reason behind most cultural beliefs are now seen as fools’ gold and sadly left no documented annals. This is mostly due to their non-formal education or abject illiteracy. We have embraced the western culture, losing-out totally on ours and clinging wrongfully to the foreign beliefs and way of life.

One of the peculiar cultures that cut across board in Nigeria is our partying system popularly known as Owambe in Yoruba and Mmemme in Igbo. We are known for a grand-style of partying, our party system and its publicity is unique in this part of our world as compared to the western world. Partying for us serves as a medium for family and friend’s reunion, a time to show off our worth, taste, standards, retaliate in competitive aggrievement and in some cases as a result of necessity or unavoidable circumstances.

I try to imagine in few occasions when I attend parties, I wander in deep thoughts considering the huge sum of money spent, much mental/physical strength and energy put in planning, human resource put in place, contingency considerations etc to list but a few, our core celebrated occasions are birthdays, weddings, naming ceremonies (christening), freedom from apprenticeship, graduations and burials amidst others which may be considered minor or subjective. Most tribes don't joke with these events and each individual/family looks ahead to celebrate them at one phase of life or another. For those that are not given to partying, societal expectations thus force them to do some of them even when it is not their will.

We have developed for ourselves a culture where parties vary in levels and standards and no more a subject of what a celebrant or organizer wishes or want but what the society desires, deems fit and the report/approval they will give of it.

Regardless of how good and the joy we may seem to derive from partying, there are some breathtaking issues in Nigerian parties which some have attributed to been rampant to the Yoruba culture; though I am not a party to such stereotype anyway, such matters arising are why:

The society should be the predicting factor and judge of the worth of one’s personal ceremony.

We go beyond our shores just to organise parties to get people’s approval at the detriment of ourselves and worth.

Must we party over everything that happens to us? 

Don’t we work with well wishers around us rather than expecting well wishers from far regions (states).

Must most of our parties have uniforms (aso-ebi/akwa), practically subjecting well wishers to conformity by default.

Must we block our roads or play extremely loud sound systems (causing pollution) in the name of partying. 

Should you borrow to showcase a party without a source of repayment or a genuine repayment plan.

I think it is high time we had a rethink so as to do things abit fairer and better. Most parties get serious values (especially financially) out of both celebrant(s) and well wishers at horrific rates. The celebrant spends a lot to make his/her well wishers comfortable and to get societal approval; the well wishers spend lots in party uniforms and transportation amongst other things all ending with a plate of rice, pounded yam and a drink. The celebrant in most cases does not get value for money spent, the well wishers also have outstretched themselves just to honour the celebrant’s invitation both who cannot justifiably account for where the money has gone at the end of it all. It is no contention that the goal of a party is not to make profit, but all should be able to add value and meaning to what they are doing.

Why should we operate a competitive party system with neighbours, friends, colleagues or family members? Why can't we just reasonably do with what we have and invite the number of people that we can reasonably take proper care of and let them have a good merriment? Lack of  this notion  in  mind mostly make celebrants borrow but in most scenarios, your expected income from attendees does not corroborate with what has been spent putting in mind your attendees have also come from far and near and have spent. We need to imbibe a system where we won’t really compulsorily expect well wishers from far distances especially inter-state considering the bad road and transport system and the cost incurred by them but at best their grants and goodwill messages should suffice.

It is important we rejoice over events, and rejoicing with families, friends, neighbour and relatives brings health to the bones and give us a sense of belonging and love from the people and society and we should not infuriate nor overstep our bounds by making well wishers go through rigorous life inconvenience and exercise for the sake of our parties. Collect grants, send them copies of video events, don’t take offence to people’s non-appearance, plan and work within available resources at your disposal, party population should not be our yardstick for judgement but the essence and reason for celebration. Define, appraise and encourage yourself don’t wait for other people to blow your trumpet for you.