Why Has Marriage Lost Its Appeal?

Until recently, marriage was a top priority in society; many were raised with fairy tales and movies that portrayed marriage as an association/relationship that would end happily ever after. However with the current trends of globalization and equality, divorce rates have increased, and many have chosen to remain unbothered by marriage and its various accompaniments.

It is wrong to say women are more concerned about getting married than men. Many believe women are more emotional, and would swoon over things like getting an engagement ring or having to select a wedding dress, while men concern and depress themselves with the more serious thoughts of targets, and meeting the expectations of acquiring and caring for a new family. An impression based on the belief that man was born for responsibility, though it does not imply that he is born responsible.

But really, have we ever wondered why many have become apathetic or even hostile to the thoughts of marriage?

In a world that offers advancement and change every second, it is not surprising that everyone now looks out for his own interests; the need for financial independence and a solid footing on the career ladder supersedes being bound in marriage. As opposed to the past when women were totally dependent on their husbands for their needs, the modern woman has been raised to fend for herself and her needs. She has been taught to stand up for herself and be counted as having a voice. You won’t be surprised that many in the past generation were rendered broke and helpless by their in-laws when their husbands died.

Many would argue that our mothers had more sustained marriages, but we must ask, were they truly happy? At what cost were their marriages sustained?  And if theirs was the best option, why has the present generation, which they reared, decided to toe a different path?

Where did things fall apart, why are divorce and mutual separation common with our generation? Could this be attributed to the egos of modern women, as they now hold equal or better positions than their husbands and also contribute financially to the marriage? Is it caused by inferiority complex exhibited by the men as they realize their wives are more than equals?

Marriage has been redefined; nowadays, women are sole providers for the family or share the responsibility with their husbands. Gone are the days of men expecting absolute subjection and respect from women. As far as most are concerned, marriage is only necessary because society still frowns at uncemented relationships, and most people want to have sex and procreate legally.

It would help if men learned to see their wives as their friends and not their slaves. The modern woman has to juggle her career and her home, unlike past generations who concentrated more on the home front. It would be unfair for the men to see themselves as ‘heads’ whose only contributions are their sperm and surname. They also need to be actively involved in the running of the home. The fact that the man is the head of the home does not make him a superior being to the woman, and the fact that the woman plays the role of breadwinner doesn’t make her so either.

Marriage is wonderful but fits this description when the right people display the right attitude. It takes two to tango in this venture that involves a lot of emotional and material sacrifice and commitment. Mutual respect and understanding are the bedrock of a successful marriage. Most marriages fail when these are absent. The world has placed the responsibility of home building and child-rearing in our hands, we would do a better job of making the world a better place if we’d only set our egos and differences aside.

It is still no doubt that marriage is still an important feature of society, but it will only appeal to this generation if and when we understand what it is all about.