EXCLUSIVE TO NIGERIA, "QUOTES"

These are funny quotes from different Nigerian leaders that have occupied one position or the other in government. They are not quotes parse but they are clauses in their speeches. Lighten up your day as you read.

“People exaggerate Corruption in Nigeria. It is not even our first or second problem, maybe the third”- President Jonathan (2014)

“You must be very stupid for saying I bleach my skin. Tell your Editors I said you’re stupid.”- Alao Akala to Punch Rep

“How will you tell me I don’t have right to treasury of Oyo State Government. The Govt I installed?”- Pa Lamidi Adedibu (2010)

“We want to thank the President for bringing Facebook to Nigeria.” – Information Minister, Labaran Maku. (2009)

“I will rather kill myself than commit suicide.” – Dame Patience Jonathan (2010)

Human Parts Dealers Arrested As Police Pose As Buyers

This is another brilliant one from The Nigeria Police Force. We should give special kudos to them when they succeed in investigations like this. 

Human part dealers in Sango Ota area of Ogun State have been arrested after some police men who picked interest in the case posed as buyers. The policemen said they got so much interested in the case because a lot of people suddenly became missing in the community. Their investigation latter led to the arrest of the ritualists. Find the story after the cut.

Video: Nigeria's First Lady Weeps for Kidnapped Chibok Girls

Watch Dame Patience Jonathan emotionally summoning, questioning and accusing "people" in this video. I dont know in what capacity though but your guess is as good as mine.
You can see her emotional downpour after 19days of the abduction. "There is God oo"

HOW TO MAKE YOUR WOMAN HAPPY

All married men will attest to some real wisdom in this message. In the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY! On the other hand, score yourself.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Old Monk. (-5)

PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her pet poodle . (-20)

Education not my Way. Timaya Explains

Rave of the moment, Ukwu master, Timaya has made an open confession during his performance over the weekend in Uyo that education is not for him, but for you. He said he gave up when he scored 17 in JAMB, but still thinks education is good and advised people to get it. But for him, it’s a capital NO.

“Education is not for me, it is important, yes, but not for me. I scored 17 in JAMB, that's when I gave up. I don’t have the brain for education but for those of you who do, please do it, its good.” he said.

Child-bride Charged with Killing Husband, 3 others in Kano

Wasila Tasi’u, the 14 year old bride who killed her 35 year husband Umar Sani, and three others in Kademi village in Gaya Local Government Area in Kano has been charged with murder.

She was charged today April 14th before a Rijiyar Zaki Magistrates Court in Kano for alleged culpable homicide.

The prosecutor, Inspector Yusuf Sale, while testifying before the Magistrate, Binta Muhammad, said the accused killed her husband and three others with food mixed with local rat poison. Sale said her husband and the three others died on the spot while six others who ate the meal fell ill immediately and were rushed to General Hospital Gaya, but were later treated and discharged.

The girl however pleaded not guilty and was remanded in prison on the order of Magistrate Binta.

Photos: Bloodbath In Abuja Motor Park as Bomb Explodes

Many have been killed in an early morning explosion which occurred today, 14^th of April, 2014 at a motor park in Nyanya area of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja. 

                                      

The explosion occurred in a section of the park allocated to luxury buses popularly called El-Rufa’i buses, with a lot of passengers at the motor park.

Many have died while others with serious injuries have been rushed to the hospital. A combined team of security agencies and fire fighters are currently retrieving bodies and putting out fire at the scene.  More pictures after the cut. Warning: the pictures are very gory.